lonely girls in Taipei

Dear Old Guy:

Hey there. I see you standing over there, creepin. I'm like "Wow! Even old guys can like Jay Chou!" That's what you said at least. How you were his FAN. When you were talking and being oh so friendly. Then your weirdness escalated when you asked us to add you on facebook and how you invite us randomly to your work place. Oh yay! The concert is starting! Wait, why are you not moving? Why are you standing stock still? Oh, do you want to take pictures? Oh you can't. You don't have a camera. Why are your hands awkwardly always in your pockets?

Where did you go Creepy Man? Oh there you are, right behind me. I'm going to move away now. I feel you awkwardly pressing against my butt. Oh look, you migrated to my friend. You are pushing your front parts against HER butt. Oh wow, she's trying to move away, and you're like magnetized to her. Wow, like your legs are like right against her legs. OK. I'm gonna grab her now. Oh look, you look displeased. Then migrate away. Please stay from me, and next time don't be so obvious when you go to young people concerts. With your creepy talks and oldness. KTHXBI.

Sincerely,
JC


Dear Old Lady:

OH! Hey there! Sorry, I didn't see you as your are entirely clothed in khaki, including your hair, and somehow your skin. Oh, what was that? Oh you want me to put my hands down so you can see? Oh ok. Well despite the fact we're in the fourth row....and everyone else in the first three rows are putting their hands, signs, and blinkers up. Oh? What was that? Oh, I didn't hear what you said but you're already elbowing your way past us to the front. Oh ok, please stop by again!

Sincerely,
JC



OH WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA.

HEY THERE OLD GUY. OK. WHOA. YOU ARE GLOWING. NOT IN THE GOOD PREGNANT WAY, LIKE THE "I'M COVERED IN GREASE WAY." I like your silver tracksuit, oh are those your little girls? It's ok you're not so creepy after all. Eh? Why are they leaving? Oh so they weren't with you? You're just standing stock still, not moving, and not taking pictures? OK. Why are you wiping away your snot every three seconds? Your hand is also residing in your pocket. It's a cycle. Wipe, stick in pocket, sneeze, stick in pocket, wipe, stick in pocket...I want to tell you something. Your pocket. It is a cesspool of germs. What are you doing. What are you doing. Why is your proximity so much closer to me? WHY IS YOUR HAND BRUSHING AGAINST MY ARM. EWWW. Oh ok, well at least I can move away from you and closer to the stage. Oh you insist on staying in front of me? Ok. Well. WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING ME.

All in all, it was pretty fun. =)
+Love